Carving out a piece 'o' my heart

I'm told by reliable sources that it should take you approximately half the time of your total relationship to get over said relationship, post breakup. With that in mind, today is officially "I'm Over You" day. To celebrate, I'm having you all over to get drunk and attack helpless objects with sharp knives. (Sorry you can't be here, Angel!) What better way to move on, truly?