My Static Personality
One thing I truly detest about winter: static electricity.
My body collects and discharges static electricity so frequently that I might be able to power my entire apartment. Walk to the bathroom at work--shock myself on the door. Head outside to drive down to the grocery store--shock myself on the car door. Casually touch a friend or colleague on the shoulder--shock both of us. Once I shocked my waist (yes, my waist!) when I leaned up against a doorframe. The spark that emanated from my body was so loud and bright that the people around me jumped back.
I'm not sure why I seem to generate so much electricity. It could have something to do with the way that I walk; I tend to shuffle my feet, which as any good sibling knows, is a particularly effective way of generating a spark. Or it could have something to do with genetics. My father used to have so much electricity in his own body that he would regularly kill watch batteries. He had to stop wearing a watch with a metal back because he was tired of replacing the battery every couple of months.
Whatever the cause, it drives me nuts. It might be more fun if I could use my zap powers to drive others crazy, but people tend to get annoyed when you shock them intentionally. And the dog certainly doesn't appreciate my hijinks.
So I am resigned to keep shocking myself on every metal object I come into contact with, echoing a chorus of "OW!"s wherever I go.
God, I hate winter.
My body collects and discharges static electricity so frequently that I might be able to power my entire apartment. Walk to the bathroom at work--shock myself on the door. Head outside to drive down to the grocery store--shock myself on the car door. Casually touch a friend or colleague on the shoulder--shock both of us. Once I shocked my waist (yes, my waist!) when I leaned up against a doorframe. The spark that emanated from my body was so loud and bright that the people around me jumped back.
I'm not sure why I seem to generate so much electricity. It could have something to do with the way that I walk; I tend to shuffle my feet, which as any good sibling knows, is a particularly effective way of generating a spark. Or it could have something to do with genetics. My father used to have so much electricity in his own body that he would regularly kill watch batteries. He had to stop wearing a watch with a metal back because he was tired of replacing the battery every couple of months.
Whatever the cause, it drives me nuts. It might be more fun if I could use my zap powers to drive others crazy, but people tend to get annoyed when you shock them intentionally. And the dog certainly doesn't appreciate my hijinks.
So I am resigned to keep shocking myself on every metal object I come into contact with, echoing a chorus of "OW!"s wherever I go.
God, I hate winter.
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