Drunken temptations
There are so many dangers facing you when you go out into the world alone with a couple of drinks under your belt. You have to worry about the drunk dial. The random tripping-over-shit-lying-right-in-front-of-you. The tempation of lying down for a "rest" on people's patios and lawn furniture. Now add to the list drunk shopping.
At least in my case, drunk shopping is usually limited to things that can be purchased at the Rite Aid across the street from my house (which is conveniently a 24-hour facility). But still, if you wandered the aisles for about 10 to 20 minutes, I'm sure you could think of things you HAD to have when you're sober, never mind when you're too inebriated to fight off the buying impulse.
A portable charcoal grill for $10? Throw it up on the counter. Lipstick in bubbleberry pink? I hear it's the color this season. An oscillating pillar fan and air purifier? Yeah, I saw one of those on TV and the people in the commercial said the air smelled a lot fresher.
Fortunately for me, after having a few drinks with YouTwo last night, it wasn't air filters and makeup that tempted me, but candy.
All day, I'd been craving Skittles or some type of chewy candy. So when I got home, I made a beeline for the store to go satisfy my craving. But when they didn't have ANY Skittles--or the real Starbursts as my backup--I went nuts. Not only did I buy MULTIPLE candy snacks, but then I went home and ate them, promptly passing out on my couch, evidence of mischief scattered around me.
(With a little additional luck, I woke up before Boog got home.)
They need to develop some sort of gadget that prevents you from spending money when you're loaded. Like a little shock collar that goes off whenever you reach for your wallet. I don't think that's unreasonable.
At least in my case, drunk shopping is usually limited to things that can be purchased at the Rite Aid across the street from my house (which is conveniently a 24-hour facility). But still, if you wandered the aisles for about 10 to 20 minutes, I'm sure you could think of things you HAD to have when you're sober, never mind when you're too inebriated to fight off the buying impulse.
A portable charcoal grill for $10? Throw it up on the counter. Lipstick in bubbleberry pink? I hear it's the color this season. An oscillating pillar fan and air purifier? Yeah, I saw one of those on TV and the people in the commercial said the air smelled a lot fresher.
Fortunately for me, after having a few drinks with YouTwo last night, it wasn't air filters and makeup that tempted me, but candy.
All day, I'd been craving Skittles or some type of chewy candy. So when I got home, I made a beeline for the store to go satisfy my craving. But when they didn't have ANY Skittles--or the real Starbursts as my backup--I went nuts. Not only did I buy MULTIPLE candy snacks, but then I went home and ate them, promptly passing out on my couch, evidence of mischief scattered around me.
(With a little additional luck, I woke up before Boog got home.)
They need to develop some sort of gadget that prevents you from spending money when you're loaded. Like a little shock collar that goes off whenever you reach for your wallet. I don't think that's unreasonable.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home