A six-month's reflection
It's so nice to relax.
Seriously, the last few days of my spring break have been as relaxing as I could have imagined, even if I were on a warm and sunny beach instead of in moderately chilly DC. To me, having the luxury of being bored is a blessing, even if I know it will only last this one, short week before the craziness of the spring quarter begins.
It's been more than six months since I left DC. I've successfully navigated the cross-country move, two quarters of graduate work and a complete upheaval in my social life. And I'm still chugging away, which I count as a victory.
On the other hand, I feel as though this experience has so transformed my life; I'm not entirely sure how I feel about that.
Before I left DC, I felt as though I knew exactly who I was, who I wanted to be, how I was going to get there AND what it would all look like when I was done. Now I feel more like a child than ever, sitting on the floor with a jigsaw puzzle in front of me in which none of the pieces really seem to fit. And I'm so concerned with getting the edges together that the whole image in the center looks as though it may never emerge.
The truly scary thing is that maybe it's always been that way--that we're always a work in progress, no matter how confident we are about what the finished product may look like.
A wise friend of mine once told me that beauty emerges from struggle. I can only hope that he is right, and that the struggle of dealing with stress, of trying to build new friendships, of trying to be your very best each and every day, of trying to stay close with those you love who are far away, are really all things that will make me even stronger.
And I do feel stronger. I'm halfway through the academic portion, and I know now I can make it through. I feel good about what I'm doing, what I'm learning.
I guess I just have to keep in mind that I don't have to have all the answers. Sometimes it's better to let life happen and then just go with it, instead of plotting and planning and then setting unrealistic expectations that no one could ever live up to.
Heading into spring quarter, I've already set at least one resolution to spend more time taking care of Sarah. I've mapped out a schedule--including exercise time to help keep me a little more balanced. I feel like putting it in writing makes it harder to avoid or ignore.
My other promise to myself is to be more patient. You know how they say life is what happens when you're busy making plans? Not that I want to stop making plans, but I definitely want to do more enjoying of the here and now.
And of course, nothing beats being able to just relax!
Seriously, the last few days of my spring break have been as relaxing as I could have imagined, even if I were on a warm and sunny beach instead of in moderately chilly DC. To me, having the luxury of being bored is a blessing, even if I know it will only last this one, short week before the craziness of the spring quarter begins.
It's been more than six months since I left DC. I've successfully navigated the cross-country move, two quarters of graduate work and a complete upheaval in my social life. And I'm still chugging away, which I count as a victory.
On the other hand, I feel as though this experience has so transformed my life; I'm not entirely sure how I feel about that.
Before I left DC, I felt as though I knew exactly who I was, who I wanted to be, how I was going to get there AND what it would all look like when I was done. Now I feel more like a child than ever, sitting on the floor with a jigsaw puzzle in front of me in which none of the pieces really seem to fit. And I'm so concerned with getting the edges together that the whole image in the center looks as though it may never emerge.
The truly scary thing is that maybe it's always been that way--that we're always a work in progress, no matter how confident we are about what the finished product may look like.
A wise friend of mine once told me that beauty emerges from struggle. I can only hope that he is right, and that the struggle of dealing with stress, of trying to build new friendships, of trying to be your very best each and every day, of trying to stay close with those you love who are far away, are really all things that will make me even stronger.
And I do feel stronger. I'm halfway through the academic portion, and I know now I can make it through. I feel good about what I'm doing, what I'm learning.
I guess I just have to keep in mind that I don't have to have all the answers. Sometimes it's better to let life happen and then just go with it, instead of plotting and planning and then setting unrealistic expectations that no one could ever live up to.
Heading into spring quarter, I've already set at least one resolution to spend more time taking care of Sarah. I've mapped out a schedule--including exercise time to help keep me a little more balanced. I feel like putting it in writing makes it harder to avoid or ignore.
My other promise to myself is to be more patient. You know how they say life is what happens when you're busy making plans? Not that I want to stop making plans, but I definitely want to do more enjoying of the here and now.
And of course, nothing beats being able to just relax!
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