Unemployed

I turned down an incredible job offer today.

Last week, my summer employer turned my life upside-down by coming up to Evanston and basically telling me I could write my own ticket. Whatever I wanted to do in the company was open to me. Everything and anything was negotiable. The catch? I had to decide right then and there--to commit to being a part of their team and the world was mine.

I think they were thrown when I asked for time to think it over. I could probably even speculate that my not accepting the job on the spot made them decide that they really didn't want me in the first place. But I'm not sorry for asking for time to think, and I don't feel bad about calling them today and saying, thank you, your offer is incredible, but I'm just not ready to commit to a job yet.

I know that some people--probably even some of my colleagues--will look at me and tell me that I'm crazy. That if the SVP of a major company believes in you enough to let you choose your own adventure, you don't say no. That opportunities like this one are rare. I probably wouldn't even disagree with them.

Except I'm learning that you have to obey your gut in order to feel truly good about the decisions you make in life. My gut--for whatever reason--was telling me no.

I think more than anything, I'm proud of myself because for one of the first times I can ever remember, I went with the unknown. I chose ambiguity over certainty, over security. I don't know where my next job offer is going to come from, or even if it will be the right one.

But I do know my gut will tell me.