Finis
It's over.
After the last presentation of my graduate school career, I walked back to my seat in the back of the room at sat down. The professor congratulated me. I looked up to the front of the room and had no clue how I was supposed to feel.
Should I have been happy that I ended on a high note with a strong presenation? Relieved to be finished with what has been 15 very challenging months? Excited about my upcoming job opportunity and the chance to get back into the real world? Sad to know that many of the friends I've made through this program will simply fade into the depths of memory?
All of the above?
For the first time in more than two weeks, my alarm didn't wake me this morning. There were no group meetings to attend to. No papers to write. No last-minute readings to finish. No interviews to prep for. I woke up early anyway, and sat in bed wondering what I was supposed to do with myself.
Not that there isn't anything to do--I've already drafted a fairly lengthy to-do list full of all the things I've been putting off for the last few frantic weeks. People to catch up with, details to straighten out before I leave this town for good. It's just that for the first time in a long time, none of it was pressing down on me. I laid in bed guilt free.
Worrying about what's next can wait until tomorrow. Today, I celebrate. Whatever I'm feeling, it's good to look back and see that I've made it through.
After the last presentation of my graduate school career, I walked back to my seat in the back of the room at sat down. The professor congratulated me. I looked up to the front of the room and had no clue how I was supposed to feel.
Should I have been happy that I ended on a high note with a strong presenation? Relieved to be finished with what has been 15 very challenging months? Excited about my upcoming job opportunity and the chance to get back into the real world? Sad to know that many of the friends I've made through this program will simply fade into the depths of memory?
All of the above?
For the first time in more than two weeks, my alarm didn't wake me this morning. There were no group meetings to attend to. No papers to write. No last-minute readings to finish. No interviews to prep for. I woke up early anyway, and sat in bed wondering what I was supposed to do with myself.
Not that there isn't anything to do--I've already drafted a fairly lengthy to-do list full of all the things I've been putting off for the last few frantic weeks. People to catch up with, details to straighten out before I leave this town for good. It's just that for the first time in a long time, none of it was pressing down on me. I laid in bed guilt free.
Worrying about what's next can wait until tomorrow. Today, I celebrate. Whatever I'm feeling, it's good to look back and see that I've made it through.
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