Wide Load

I've been thinking a lot about wide things lately--mostly because the 10 pounds everyone told me I would gain when I took this job has come to fruition (or near fruition, anyhow, before I decided to take evasive action and actually hit the gym and stop sampling product at work). But the theme keeps coming up over and over again. I offer two random examples as evidence of my dementia:

Everything's Bigger in Texas--Except the Lanes. Okay, this one isn't so much about being wide as it is about being narrow. For some reason, I feel like the highways here in Texas have much narrower lanes than I've seen elsewhere across the country. The problem is particularly exacerbated because most people drive SUVs and trucks--the biggest Dallas money can buy. So as a little Ford Focus on the road, I often feel crowded and have the sensation of being run right off the pavement and into the wall. It's kind of like the feeling of driving on a highway where there is construction, so the shoulder is gone and there is a barrier wall on the other side--and you've ended up next to a semi that's taking more than his fair share of space. This is one situation where a little junk in the trunk might be advantageous.

Chubby Knees. So as part of my resistance to the work bulge, I've been paying extra attention to places of my body that seem to be expanding. And you know what I've decided? Knees can be one of the most unattractive body parts. I somehow have ended up with knees that are blocky, choppy, and downright chubby. You didn't know knees could be sexy? Look at all the women who have really good legs. The knee always seems to blend in with the rest of the leg. But for some of us, the knee is a giant stopping point, breaking up the line of the leg with this bulbous mass. Characteristic we're born with? Or do knees actually gain weight?